I have been unwell this week, thanks to my gorgeous girls sharing their bugs. I was really annoyed that I couldn't run; last week I had managed to get out three times against the odds and I was hoping that this week would be the same. I shouldn't be surprised though, after spending 10 days cooped up with poorly children coughing and spluttering!
My Long Sunday Run had to be a sensible, steady run today to account for not being completely well, and still carrying an irritating dry cough. It was while I was running today that it occurred to me that my mind and body really, really disagree with each other.
Here's an example of the arguments they usually have:
Head: It is a bit dark to run
Body: I'd quite like to stretch
Head: But it is very cold
Body: Wrapped up I'm OK
Head: But it is very cold AND very dark
Body: C'mon, let's go!
Head: I can't do this...
Body: Follow me, it'll be fine
Head: Oh, this isn't so bad....
Head: You've started too fast, I can't keep this up
Body: Whhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Head: I. Can't. Do. This.
Body: Hahahahaahahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa keep up slow coach!
Head: This. Hurts.
Body: Shut up and keep up
Head: Seriously. I can't.
Body: Go hard or go home, wuss.
Head: I did it!
This morning was different though, and it was quite refreshing to have a different argument between my toddler-esque personalities.
Head: I need to get out. I need to destress. Let's run.
Body: Cough cough wheeze. No.
Head: It is a beautiful day. I need the sun. Let's go.
Body: Cough. No.
Head: It'll help, you might feel better
Body: This isn't as bad as I thought
Head: You're stronger than you thought.
Body: So are you.
So, today's run was a tough 5 miles. I could have done with my lungs functioning a little better, but I'm so proud of myself for going out there and doing it. The younger, care-free me would have phoned in sick for feeling as I did this morning. Maybe it is maturity, maybe it is the steely determination of pulling myself out of bed each morning to get the girls to school on time, maybe it is just because I am so much fitter... but whatever the reason, I am proud of my mind and body for both being strong enough to run. Not just today, but every day I get out there and hit the pavements.
This determination was never more evident than last week, when I was invited out by my fast-paced friend for an impromptu run. I hesitated on taking her up on the offer, because I knew I was going to be really put through my paces. I knew it would hurt, I knew I would have to focus, put my head down and go for it, and I also knew that the post-run high would be worth every second of it.
We set off fast. It was freezing cold, and despite having warmed up jogging down to her house, the speed still took me by surprise. I was struggling to get my breathing to slow from that awful gasping for air like a fish out of water, to the useful deep, slow useful rhythm for optimal performance. My head was screaming no, I could hear myself saying I can't do this, it is too fast. What I love about my friend is that she believes in me, and doesn't let me get away with it. Like a surly Staff Sergeant, she basically told me to put up or shut up - I chose the latter option and concentrated on keeping up.
We flew around the 10k route she had planned. It felt amazing running that fast, it is almost like being invincible. Once my breathing had settled, the pace didn't feel uncomfortable. Apart from one part of the route where I HAD to slow - the cold had hit me and I just couldn't catch my breath - we had a fairly consistent pace, all under 9 minute miles. At one point, I really had to keep my head up because the repeating pattern of the slabs on the path was making me feel dizzy and I thought I might be sick!
I had started my Garmin when I left home, so I hit 10k slightly sooner than my friend, but there was no way I was stopping before her. Her pace was amazingly fast at the end and I slipped behind very slightly but I was determined to keep going. Hitting stop on the watch was a relief, it was finally done, and 'Fastest 10k' flashed up at me. Goodness knows what anyone who could see us thought - two lycra clad women whooping, cheering and cuddling in the middle of the street must be a strange sight! It wasn't until I got home and synced my watch to the PC that I saw my Fastest 5k and Fastest Mile had also been recorded that day. My goal for the next Brooks 10k next year will definitely be sub-50 minutes... who knows with a decent marathon time and continued hard work through the summer I could be aiming for a time that once was a 5k hope.
So, whatever the argument my mind and body have... they always seem to come together in the end. The next part of my learning journey will be to have the self belief that I am strong.
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