Thursday 8 January 2015

A big week; a newspaper feature and upping the miles

Sunday's long run was looking daunting having missed a couple of runs due to the lingering cough I've had. I could've easily backed out of it, but instead I pinged a message off to my buddy to see if she was heading out. I was relieved to find that she was feeling the same as me and our route was soon planned.

We headed off in the freezing cold, but bright morning sunshine. I don't think I have ever been outside in temperatures as low as 4 degrees in so little clothing... I had in my mind that I really wanted to get to my planned 7 miles done but considering the recent illness I wouldn't give myself a hard time if I only made 6. It was good to be running with L again, the running seemed to flow as well as the conversation, which in turn helped the miles pass by. That doesn't mean that I didn't hit the figurative wall. Several times. But one of the best things about running with a buddy is that the wall is easier to conquer. Our route was adapted as we went along, and we must've felt confident in ourselves as the alteration extended the distance to at least 9 miles. The last couple of miles were harder than hard, and at one point after stopping to cross a road, I really didn't think they were going to start again, but they did. Not only did we complete the 9 miles, we were close to 10. So we did what all crazy, number obsessed runners do... we went around the block and passed the first house I ever owned to finish the mile and by the time we were back at L's house we had clocked up a wonderful, leg breaking 10.36 miles.

It took me a couple of hours to defrost at home. I was so thankful for the support of my husband as he not only gave me the time to be out and running, but then the time to sit under blankets waiting for my hands to return to pink from the fetching bluey / purple they had turned. (Note to self: wear gloves.) The warm-up time gave me time to look over the mileage I had achieved so far, and with help from the eldest daughters and their calculators, we worked out that I had completed 199.09 miles to date. So, so close to 200. There was only one thing to do. With the eldest girls shrieking in excitement and delight, the running shoes were pulled on once more then the three of us headed out to finish the last mile and together we took it to 200 miles done.

Monday was soon here which meant the Christmas holidays were well and truly over, with husband back at work and the girls preparing to go back to school the next day. Not the ideal time to have a mini-interview with a reporter from the local newspaper, but a true reflection of the chaos we exist in! It was easy to talk about E and the running challenge, it isn't until I start talking out loud about it that I realise how passionate I am about what I am doing.

With the girls back at school on Tuesday I had time to reflect on the holidays. When E is out of school, we see a very different little girl. The tiredness of working hard to hear, understand and achieve at school gradually dissipates to reveal a funny, cheeky and very loving side to her. The tantrums and outbursts are less, the happy play times are more. We all relax, and in turn so does she. I love those times. Preparing myself for the school week is how I would imagine a knight constructing his armour to protect himself from all that is fired at him. Layer upon layer of emotional defences to safeguard myself and those closest to me from the battles we face every day in the pursuit of whatever we perceive at that time to be best for E.

The chaos that usually surrounds us as a working family continued after school. E returns to a tired, anxious state much faster than she recovers from it, but the difference we are beginning to see is how she copes with it much better now than she did even six months ago. With a piano lesson in one room, and a stranger with a huge camera (and even bigger lens!) in the dining room, I could've potentially created a situation which caused a huge meltdown for E. No, she took it in her stride, and even posed for the photo to accompany the article for the local paper. I could have melted with a mixture of relief and pride.

The next mountain to conquer was my own battle, rather than E's. I reminded myself of the ethos of the challenge, this was never supposed to be easy, if it was it wouldn't reflect the struggles E faces every day. After running 11 miles on Sunday, a day at home with all 4 girls on Monday and then the mayhem after school, I still needed to stick to plan and run 5 miles. It was so hard to get out of the door, so I enlisted my fast-paced friend to run with me. Again it was easier than being alone, but I could feel the 10 miles in my legs like lead weights. I did it though, and the legs felt lighter and less tight by then end of the run which surprised me. I did learn that I need to seriously increase my calories and fluids in the day to continue running at this level. My next piece of homework awaits.

The challenge continued into Wednesday when my training plan was telling me I need to go out and run 7 miles. Route planned, husband home a little earlier than usual and I headed out once again into the freezing cold. No sunshine to cheer me up this time, no running buddy to keep me going. Just me, the pavement, and some music to distract me. The heaviness in my legs was back and a heaviness in my mind made the run drag. It was cold, windy and hard work. Thinking of E kept me going, telling myself that the hard runs would prepare me for the marathon carried my feet forward one step after the other. What it didn't do was stop me running my planned route in reverse order, missing out a mile. This time though, the crazy runner obsessed with numbers was happy to have completed a third run in four days. This was enough for me. For now.

The newspaper article was published today. I'm guessing many people would see that and think that I would be happiest about the publicity for the challenge, the potential for fundraising, the profile of invisible disabilities being raised. Of course, I am grateful for all of that. The Worthing Herald have given me more than that, and I now have a photograph of me with E where she looks calm, happy and relaxed. And only I know what was happening in the background, and how her smile represents far more than a pretty little girl smiling for the camera.









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