Down but not out

So, it has been a while since I last wrote anything, and it has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster during that time.

After a disappointment at E's hospital appointment, I was ready to give up and walk away from everything. Including running. Maybe it was a way of throwing out a punishment - I was prepared to run 100 extra miles, why weren't they?

Time brings reflection and perspective to my feelings. Our visit to GOSH actually highlighted to me how desperately they need fundraisers, like me, who are prepared to go the extra mile. Trying to squash highly specialised services into an ancient building cannot be easy. Providing adequate space for wheelchair users in a building dating back to the 1800's is a daunting task for even the most capable architects. Playworkers, able to entertain any children are a gift to any outpatients department, but people with the skills to diversify play for children with complex difficulties, to respond to their needs and allay the fears of the accompanying parents / carers cannot be expected to fulfill their roles without the appropriate training and equipment. Too much of a hospital is not funded by the NHS and so fundraising becomes not just useful, but vital to keep the service running on a day-to-day basis.

Supported by my running buddy, L, I got back out on the road. I owe you one for that Sunday run, L! This lovely lady quite literally ran her legs off to get me back out on the road and stopped me wallowing in self pity. Our run, just short of 5 miles along a cool seafront with the night drawing in, took L to something like 15km that weekend. It was just what I needed though; to be reminded how much strength I have now compared to 7 months ago. This is the strength I need to draw upon to keep myself fighting for the very best for E.

My other strong supporter is The Boss. Still (somehow!) putting up with my incessant worrying, G has been a consistent reminder of where I have come from, and, most importantly, where I am going. He reminded me that running is so much more than fundraising; that the time I am out running has become a key part of who I am, and how I can deal with being a parent and a carer. I am so pleased that he is also back out there, running and feeling stronger. I can understand now that need to pull on a pair of trainers and just to be free, and the sparkle in his eyes when he's telling me that he's running farther and feeling stronger reflects the way I feel, too.

My lovely husband will always be at my side, in so many ways. He allowed me to sob, to shout, to be down and I know that as a team, we will get through everything that is thrown at us.

Of course, the story can't be that simple and tickety-boo. Back on a running high, I focused myself onto training for Great South Run and my self-set official beginning of the 100 Mile Running Challenge. I had a niggling ankle pain while I was training for my first 10k back in July, but it hasn't bothered me since. In the last couple of weeks it has become increasingly uncomfortable. Not so bad when I'm running, but getting towards painful when at rest. Back to bothering G with my worries about what I could have done to it, and turning to my closest friend, who had survived a foot problem while training for her marathon.

Her recommendation was to see the same physio she had. Fearing the worst, I made an appointment and Husband commented that it must be bad for me to get checked out! The news wasn't all bad, though. A fairly straightforward ligament injury which should be healed with specific resistance exercises, heat / ice and rest. He applied ultrasound to break up the granulation I have from the interrupted healing process and sent me away with some very pretty bright pink K-Tape to stabilize the joint. So, now not only do I owe L for running with me, I also owe M for getting me to pull my finger out and have my ankle looked at, rather than hiding in denial. Mojitos, anyone?!